


Sometimes You Have To Steal Your Holiday Cheer

by NyxxTheWolf



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Christmas, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Holiday, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21696304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxxTheWolf/pseuds/NyxxTheWolf
Summary: Geoff Ramsey, the great Kingpin of the notorious Fake AH Crew,  hates Christmas. Okay, he doesn't /hate/ Christmas but he sure as shit isn't going to decorate the Penthouse or buy a tree or any of that nonsense. Ryan and the Lads decide to take matters into their own hands for their boss because it's Christmas and they refuse to let him be a Scrooge.AKA Ryan and the Lads Steal Christmas from Los Santos to make Geoff smile.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Sometimes You Have To Steal Your Holiday Cheer

**Author's Note:**

> A friend of mine posted a prompt on Twitter about the FAHC stealing Christmas, and it inspired me to write this. Only I didn't want them to steal Christmas for no reason because I like to think that even the fearsome Fakes enjoy Christmas, so I made Geoff a bitter old Scrooge. I hope you enjoy!

It was early morning and the penthouse of the Fake AH Crew was mostly quiet. Some morning talk show was playing softly on the TV while the smell of bacon wafted around the air. It was a few days before Christmas and the crew had been taking it easy, spending most of their time hanging out in the penthouse and just generally enjoying teach others' company. Jack had left for a vacation a few days prior, leaving Geoff to handle things in Los Santos. Which was easier said than done with Gavin's constant pestering about Christmas trees. 

"NO! Absolutely not!" Geoff's voice rang down the hallway from Gavin's bedroom and into the main living room where Ryan, Michael, & Jeremy were all sitting eating breakfast. 

"But Geoff..." Gavin's voice followed as he trailed Geoff into the living room. "It's Christmastime! Bloody Hell it's already December 20th! We should at least get a tree!"

"I said no, Gavin. We are not hauling a fucking tree up here. We are not putting up lights, we are not putting up decorations. You've been bugging me since Thanksgiving and the answer is still, and will continue to be, NO. I hate the holidays, everyone is always so damn happy about everything and it's annoying as dicks. Besides, I'll end up being the only person watering he damn tree and cleaning up it's needles since Jack is away on vacation," Geoff replied, staring the young British lad down.

"Wow Geoff, I thought I was the bringer of negativity around here," Ryan said with a smirk. "I can't believe you hate Christmas."

"Yeah," piped Jeremy. "I wouldn't have pegged you as a Scrooge."

"Fuck off all of you," Geoff replied with a grumble. "I don't necessarily _hate_ Christmas, I just don't like spending time and money on all the decorations that only last a month. I hate doing all the work to make things look nice only to have to take it all down again in a month. It's pointless. And I've never had to worry about giving gifts because I pay you assholes enough to buy your own gifts. I just don't want to waste the money I've worked hard for."

"You mean you don't want to waste the money you've stolen from actual hard-working people," Michael remarked with a chuckle.

"Hey, I still had to work to rob them!" Geoff exclaimed as he pulled on his jacket, checking to make sure he had his pistol stashed in the pocket. "I have to go out of town for some business today in regards to some new weapons I'm purchasing next year. Ryan is in charge, please don't blow up the penthouse while I'm gone. I'll be out in the mountains so I won't have cell reception if one of you idiots gets hurt, so nothing stupid okay?" 

"Yes, Geoff," the Lads responded. 

Geoff narrowed his eyes at them. "I feel like you're scheming something. If you decide to go rob some old ladies in a nursing home or whatever it is you guys do for fun without me just don't get caught. See you later!" He shut the door behind him and the remaining four crew members listed for him to get into the elevator before speaking again, and it was Ryan who spoke first.

"Alright boys, how do you guys feel about a holiday heist?" Ryan said, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.

"Fuck yeah!" exclaimed Michael. "Geoff needs to get the stick out of his ass and celebrate for once."

Gavin smiled. "We're gonna make this penthouse so festive!"

Jeremy smiled. "I've always wanted to reenact 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas'. Only difference is we're stealing it from Los Santos to give it to Geoff and not just to piss everyone off by throwing their gifts and decorations off of a mountain."

Ryan chuckled before cracking his knuckles and pulling out his phone to start scribbling notes. "Okay, here's what I'm thinking. The mall has that huge Christmas tree that's already decorated in their center court. From the news report about that tree, it's 12 feet high, and the penthouse has 15-foot ceilings," he said, pulling up a picture of the tree on his phone and streaming it up onto their flat-screen TV. "Michael, if you and Jeremy go into the mall and cause a commotion, I can come in with Gavin and a cargo bob and we can smash the glass skylights and hook the tree up and fly it right out of there," Ryan said, making marks on the image.

"Okay, so what happens when the cops start looking for a helicopter carrying a giant Christmas tree?" Michael asked.

"Right, so we fly the tree out of there while you and Jeremy lay down cover fire. The cops will be more concerned with keeping civilians alive than recovering the tree. You don't have to kill anybody, just shoot out windows and displays and cause a panic. We only need a few minutes of cover and then you guys escape. Best way to escape will be through any of the fire exits along the outer walls on the first floor. Only bring in weapons that you can easily conceal and carry so you can make a break for it when cops start to search for you," Ryan responded. Michael and Jeremy nodded, high-fiving each other. 

"We'll cover you, don't worry about that," Jeremy said, pulling out his pistol and twirling it around his finger before aiming at the TV and pretending to fire at it.

"Good. Now Gavin, while they're doing that you and I will get the tree back here. I'll drop you on the roof of the penthouse where you'll have to open up the skylights for me. At that point, I'll lower the tree down and into place. Once it's in, you close the skylights and head to the garage where you'll get in any car we have. I'll fly the chopper out towards the country and blow it up before I pick up a car out at the bunker," Ryan explained.

"Okay, then what?" Michael asked.

"Once we're all in cars, the next objective is petty theft. Christmas lights, ornaments, wreaths, anything that screams Christmas, take it. Preferably steal from stores and businesses and not from peoples' homes. Remember, we want to steal Christmas from the city to make Geoff smile. We don't want to steal from families who are celebrating, that would be mean of us. And while we are many things, I don't want us to be known for robbing families of their holiday cheer," Ryan said with a smile. "If it looks like a Christmas decoration, take it. There shouldn't be too much police resistance because most of them will be at the mall dealing with the aftermath of our tree heist. Gather everything you can and then lay low somewhere for a bit before coming back here," he said. "Then we all meet back here and decorate the shit out of this place. This house is going to be so full of holiday cheer that Macy's will be ashamed!"

The Lads all smiled and laughed before going off to prepare themselves for their holiday heist.

* * *

An hour later, Michael and Jeremy were sitting in one of Michael's less flashy cars to avoid detection while they waited for Ryan's signal.

"This is Vagabond, Rimmy and Mogar, are you guys ready to cause a little bit of Christmas chaos?" Ryan's voice crackled through their comms devices.

"This is Mogar, we are locked and loaded," Michael responded. "How is Golden Boy doing?"

"Golden Boy is top! Currently squished in the base of the cargo bob to attach the hook to the tree but doing just fine. Let's steal Christmas!" Gavin replied.

"Alright guys. Quick and easy, try not to murder any civilians. If cops open fire on you, shoot to disable and not kill. We don't want anyone to spend Christmas at a funeral," Ryan said. "Now let's HEIST!"

With the final call from Ryan, Michael and Jeremy made their way into the mall. They weren't in their usual heist gear, just civilian clothes with body armor on underneath and masks tucked into their jackets. They made their way into the mall, dodging the hundreds of last-minute shoppers rushing around them as they made their way to the center court. They wandered into center court, looking up at the large tree that was on display. People around them were taking pictures and 'oohing' at the tree while kids played with the toys at the base of the tree.

Jeremy pretended to make a call on his phone and said "Yeah, we're here waiting at the tree for you, hope to see you soon, Love you," before sliding his phone back into his pocket. He glanced at Michael who smiled at his creative way to let Ryan know they were in position without compromising their heist. 

"Confirmed in position, approaching target now. Start laying down the chaos," came Ryan's voice, muffled slightly by the sound of the cargo bob's engine. Michael and Jeremy smiled before carefully slipping their masks on. They both pulled their guns and started firing rounds into the glass windows around them while shouting nonsense. People began to scream and run for the doors as Michael and Jeremy began wandering around shooting at anything and everything that was around them that would shatter. Moments later there was a massive crashing sound as the hook from the cargo bob smashed through the skylight above the tree. Jeremy laughed as he saw Gavin pop out of the bottom of the cargo bob and begin affixing the hook of the cargo bob to the tree. He gave him a little wave before refocusing on breaking windows, smiling as he heard the sirens approaching the mall.

"This is Vagabond, we have the tree secure and are clear of the mall. Cops are starting to enter, get out of there quick," Ryan shouted on the comms. Michael and Jeremy nodded at each other before firing off a few more shots and making a run for the fire doors. By the time the Los Santos police made it to the center court, they were met with no tree, no shooters, and a whole lot of broken glass.

Michael slammed on the gas as he drove away, the cops not even caring as they sped past him towards the mall. "Mogar and Rimmy Tim are clear of the mall. What're things looking like for you guys?"

"Just getting the tree in place now Mogar. You and Rimmy can commence with part two. Go steal Christmas from Wal-Mart and teach those capitalists that Christmas is for everybody!" Gavin said enthusiastically. "I'm just about to head down and get in car myself."

"Can confirm tree is in place. Vagabond is clear of the building, will confirm when I am on the ground," Ryan said. "Go forth and steal Christmas!"

Gavin rushed down to their garage and hopped into one of Ryan's cars, heading for the docks. "Golden Boy is headed for the docks. Mogar, Rimmy, where are you guys?"

"Rimmy and Mogar are hitting up Wal-Mart on the East side of the city. We've not seen a single cop since leaving the mall," Jeremy responded.

"Good. Vagabond is officially in a car and the cargo bob is currently a flaming pile of metal out in the desert," Ryan said. "I'll hit up the hardware store just north of the city. We'll need some nails and other hardware to hang this stuff."

"This is gonna be the best Christmas surprise ever!" Gavin exclaimed, causing the others to laugh. "See you all in a bit."

* * *

"The Los Santos Police Department is looking for any assistance in locating those responsible for the theft of the Christmas tree in the mall and other possibly connected robberies at various stores around Los Santos. While most people speculate that this is the work of the notorious Fake AH Crew, eyewitnesses to the event report no signs of the Fakes before, during or after the robbery. Reports state that there were no major injuries and no deaths in any of the robberies, leading many to believe that this is the work of a copycat to the Fakes, as the Fakes always leave bodies behind. Anyone with any information is asked to call the Los Santos Police Department," the newscaster said, prompting the four crew members to cheer.

"We were so good they don't even think it was us!" exclaimed Jeremy. "We're so damn good!"

"This is top guys! We have wreaths and lights and garlands and everything for a perfect Christmas!" Gavin said, practically bouncing up and down with joy. 

"Everyone grab a hammer and start decorating," Ryan said, grabbing one of the wreaths and a hammer. Gavin turned off the news which had begun replaying cell phone footage from the mall and put on some Christmas music as the four of them got to work decorating. They sang along to the music and danced around the living room with each other, all of them in good spirits. It took a few hours to make everything perfect and they were all exhausted by the time they finished up. They sat on their large couch together and looked around, all of them smiling at their handiwork. They all froze when they heard the front door opening, realizing Geoff was home.

Geoff opened the door to the penthouse and stopped. "What the fuck did you guys do?!" he exclaimed, tossing his keys onto the counter.

"Before you say anything Geoff, we just wanted to celebrate Christmas. You do so much for us that we wanted to do something for you," Ryan said, standing and putting himself between Geoff and the Lads. 

"I mean I can see that. But where did you get all of this? How did you get all of this? I...what is happening?" Geoff sputtered. As he opened his mouth to say something else, the news flickered back on, repeating the same thing as it did before, only now showing the burnt wreckage of the cargo bob that Ryan had abandoned in the desert.

"As you can see behind me, crews are finishing up extinguishing this fire. Police believe that this is the same helicopter used in the heist this morning at the Los Santos Mall. There are no signs of any bodies at this time, but an investigation is still ongoing. Once again, police do not believe this to have been carried out by the Fake AH Crew but by a copycat organization. Anyone with any information is asked to contact the Los Santos Police. We will keep you updated on this story as we know more,"the newscaster repeated before Gavin turned off the TV.

"Did you guys really plan and execute a full heist just to decorate for Christmas?" Geoff asked, his voice quivering a bit.

"Yeah. We know you don't really enjoy the holidays but we figured that if we did all the work for it then you'd be happier about the holidays, Gavin said timidly, stepping out form behind Ryan. Geoff quickly grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, motioning for the others to join him.

"This is beautiful you guys. Thank you," he whispered to them, holding them tight. 

"Merry Christmas Geoff," Michael said.

Merry Christmas you guys. Thank you." Geoff said, wiping a tear from his eye. "But you guys are in charge of taking all this shit down after Christmas is over," he said with a chuckle.

The other guys laughed with him, smiles spread across their faces as the lights they had hung along the windows twinkled blue. Although he'd never admit it to them, Geoff was proud of his boys for going out of their way to make him smile; and maybe, just maybe, next year he would buy Gavin a tree.

**Author's Note:**

> There it is! Sorry if the ending sucks. I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave feedback for me.


End file.
